I Just Can’t Work There

The word fun is not generally associated with job hunting, but recently I have found myself actually enjoying the process of looking at the employment listings. Specifically, cruising Idealist.org. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of being jobless in the internet age, Idealist is the job site for us left wing, commie-pinko, do-gooders who have forsworn a decent income for the sake of a clean conscience.

I’m fascinated by the sheer number of non-profit organizations that not only have I never heard of, but at the risk of being accused of having the humor of a sixth grader, are just downright funny.

Take The Tick Borne Disease Alliance. Certainly a good cause, after all who actually likes Lyme Disease? Rickettesiosis anyone?  Babesiosis? Actually that one is a little trickier. I wouldn’t mind if after a date some guy said “Hey I went out with Naomi, and I think I caught Babesiosis!” Alas, it’s not a disease one contracts after dating a babe, but instead after an intimate encounter with the blacklegged tick.  That must be one hot tick.

Let’s say you’re at a party and the inevitable “So what do you do?” question arises. Replying with “I work for The Tick Borne Disease Alliance” has zero cache. Zero. Maybe if you’re at the CDC Christmas party you’ll get some oohs and aahs, but that’s about it. And when it comes down to it, after having a pure soul and paying your rent, a job is all about party cache.

Chances of me getting a date if I were to say, I’m in the marketing department of the National Bible Association has to be slim to none. I had no idea the bible had its own association, and what’s even more shocking is that the headquarters is not just in NY but in Times Square. Hmmm, go see a Broadway show or drop in at Bible HQ. What to do, what to do?

 The mission of the NBA-and now we know why it doesn’t go by its acronym-is to “encourage everyone to read the Bible.” That’s it? Read it? I read the bible, or a good chunk of it anyway (those gospels could really use an editor) and quite frankly, I didn’t like it. God is super mean in the old testament, not someone I’d like in my daily life thank-you-very-much, but then it’s as if he went out at halftime and got himself an awesome PR rep. In the New Testament he is Mr. Benevolent, all “love thy neighbor” and “do unto others.”  I keep expecting a new chapter where we find out God declares he’s a Smite Addict and went through a twelve step program.

I digress.

The other thing about the postings? Without explicit saying anything certain organizations give you a clear warning sign the company may not be the most solid place to work.  New York City Ballet posted 3 jobs in their marketing department in one day.  Who the hell is running that office, the Mouse King?

I don’t think I’ll be applying at the ballet anytime soon. And it’s not just ’cause of the postings, it’s pure ego. I do not need to spend my days around teeny tiny little women whose big meal of the day consists of a 2 Diet Cokes and a blueberry. No thank you.

So no, I don’t have a job yet, but I am having some good laughs….hmm, I wonder if that’s why I don’t have a job.


One thought on “I Just Can’t Work There

  1. Shmoopie says:

    Does NAMBLA or its subsidiary organization Boy Scouts of America post on Idealist? Just curious…


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